The purpose of this blog was to write about something different from my previous blog at Pitas. But then again, this is the only place in which I can say what I feel without having anyone to judge me Or maybe they do but who cares anyways.
My mum hasn't called in 2 days. Well she did tell me that she was off to Kota Tinggi for my cousin's wedding. Damn I miss her voice. When I was in secondary school, I remembered being scared that I will turn out to look like my dad. I didn't want my mum to look at me and possibly hate me. I pray silently so that as I grew a bit older that I will eventually look like her. I know its impossible but what the hell. I was a stupid teenager. I emulated this whole feature of being tough as hell, boyish, nothing seems to bother me, being totally independent and try hard as hell not to care about what people thought about me. I didn't want that possibility to come true. Of course it never did. Even though i showed her tantrums here and there, in the end she still loves me. Damn I miss her. But I learn from a young age to never try be vulnerable to anyone, to alway portray this tough exterior and in which nothing will bother me at all. Its tough as hell to put up this bloody show especially when I am in need of help.
I honestly cant wait for that week in October to meet her, my bro and my aunt. To get rid of this nagging feeling of missing them. Honestly you never get used to it.
I better get back to this heat transfer assignment I have. Wondering if I am actually on the right track.
Fasting month is in another 13 days insyaAllah. MySun dinner in 11 days. First phase report seminar in 9 days. I am so scared for this first phase report. It feels like I do not have enough materials. None of the industrial companies have replied back to me about the cost of a cement kiln. Think Positive Belacan. You know you can do anything
My mum hasn't called in 2 days. Well she did tell me that she was off to Kota Tinggi for my cousin's wedding. Damn I miss her voice. When I was in secondary school, I remembered being scared that I will turn out to look like my dad. I didn't want my mum to look at me and possibly hate me. I pray silently so that as I grew a bit older that I will eventually look like her. I know its impossible but what the hell. I was a stupid teenager. I emulated this whole feature of being tough as hell, boyish, nothing seems to bother me, being totally independent and try hard as hell not to care about what people thought about me. I didn't want that possibility to come true. Of course it never did. Even though i showed her tantrums here and there, in the end she still loves me. Damn I miss her. But I learn from a young age to never try be vulnerable to anyone, to alway portray this tough exterior and in which nothing will bother me at all. Its tough as hell to put up this bloody show especially when I am in need of help.
I honestly cant wait for that week in October to meet her, my bro and my aunt. To get rid of this nagging feeling of missing them. Honestly you never get used to it.
I better get back to this heat transfer assignment I have. Wondering if I am actually on the right track.
Fasting month is in another 13 days insyaAllah. MySun dinner in 11 days. First phase report seminar in 9 days. I am so scared for this first phase report. It feels like I do not have enough materials. None of the industrial companies have replied back to me about the cost of a cement kiln. Think Positive Belacan. You know you can do anything
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