breathe

i think i have forgotten how to really breathe without this nagging pain. Its like a hole is being dug out in the centre of my heart making breathing difficult. i dont know when it started. its not physical pain more mentally painfully. the only time when i am not in this disastrous chronic pain is when i am sleeping or when my mind is busily preoccupied with a lot of other different stuffs.

i miss my mum and family. i wish she was here. haiz. she will know what to say. what will i Ever do without her. Sigh. I know its so lame but I cant help myself.

I know its been 3 weeks since I am unemployed. But it seems like eternity.

I don't know when my PR is going to be kickstart.

I wished they will reply to me on whether or not i was rejected. at least there is a something that I can rip apart. Sigh.

I should really learn to take this emotional turmoil and put in a positive influence.

OK OK....i better just relax....dont think so much about what I fee. there is nothing worst than rejection. As much as I didnt bring my hopes up I think circumstances changes things.

This oh so sucks.