People...i am not as courageous as you all think. I am a coward who hides behind a facade. i am not as sincere as you might think. I have deep secrets that if i was to bare will shake the foundation of what you know or like about me. like seriously crumble.
I saw a post by ira talking about soulmate and finding your other half. but what if all this while, i've been looking in the wrong direction for the soulmate? the straight supposedly correct direction?? i've never been able to open up properly towards anyone. i've never really been comfortable around guys/man. but i am so comfortable with gays and females. strictly speaking i have no interest in man. full stop. the only thing keeping me from deviating is my religion. but isnt religion supposed to make us be good human beings and not too lie, cheat or hurt? in trying to keep my faith i have lied, cheated and hurt people. too many uncountable times. For that am i even following my religion. Why was i born in this complicated, excruciatingly tough place world.
"SILENT!" SHE SHOUTS TO HERSELF. HER BODY TREMBLING WITH FEAR AND CONFUSION- HER CALMNESS GONE, FILLED WITH RAGING ANGER OF DENIAL.
Wasn't religion supposed to accept everyone no matter what? ARGH! it is confusing. why am i born with this brain that keeps thinking and asking questions. why can't i just shut up?
Tears of rain fell
searing the emptiness i hold
An aching truth I deny the pleasure of attendance
Slowly baring its soul
Work was alright. I've never walked so much or talked to so many strangers in my entire life. the older people are nice but they aren't able to contribute much due to them being pensioners. the younger ones are unemployed. the employed ones are of course not at home. Let's just say life is hard without it already being complicated.
see you in hell
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